By Dejarelle Gaines
Politics and religion were two things that my mother, a veteran of over 22 years in the U.S. army, was never openly vocal about. She would give hints to her political leanings in everyday situations such as a phone conversation with my extremely radical liberal uncle or her almost religious recording of Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show,” but otherwise these topics weren’t discussed. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school when I was taking AP Government that I thought to ask my mom what her political views were.
Sitting at the kitchen table, I was reading about capital punishment following a debate that we had had In class earlier that day. My mother was also sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal and tuning into her recorded episode of the “Colbert Report.” I thought that I’d complain about our class debate to my mother. I had been on the side against capital punishment and so I was explaining to her that I couldn’t understand why kids in my class could want to keep something as barbaric as capital punishment instilled, blaming their views on our conservative-leaning, “Southern” neighborhood. My mother proceeded to lay out an argument similar to the one that I had heard in class from the kids who opposed me, and from there the debate ensued between my mother and I. My mother and I had disagreed on a great many things when I was growing up, but we had never sat down and discussed politics, because I had always assumed that mother is always right. Finding myself in this position where I held a different opinion than my mother was shocking to say the least.
As an army brat, the daughter of someone who is thought to be the ultimate symbol of patriotism, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt truly patriotic. As a child, the pledge of allegiance was never something that filled me with unbridled pride for my country, but I would stand at attention nonetheless. As with many things in my life, I did so because my mother told me to. That it was what I was supposed to do whenever I heard that or our National Anthem played. I had become very accustomed to simply listening to what my mother said and taking it as law. So when I came of age to start developing my own political views, I did what I knew best: listen to what my mother said.
The crisp Autumn air caressed my skin as I scurried through Washington Square Park, running late as usual, to meet an interviewee. I stared through the tinted lens of my sunglasses at the park visitors, each of whom was dressed in that transitional, not-quite-summer, not-quite-fall attire. The temperature in New York during this time of year could vary anywhere between high-70s to low-50s on any given day, and with this in mind, most New Yorkers simply did not know how to dress appropriately for the day. Most settled for jeans, a light jacket and a scarf, taking the sun’s proud presence as an opportunity to go out and enjoy the weather without suffering from the cold. Reflecting an uncertain time also in the political sphere, lower temperatures aren’t the only thing that we have to expect in the coming weeks. This fall also marks a transitional period in the political realm, the year that we usher in a new president to occupy the Oval Office for the next four years.
I walked into the Washington Square Diner where it was only mildly crowded. I scanned the room trying to find my interviewee, but to my dismay there were quite a few caucasian, brunette males occupying the small booths of the restaurant. After descending the aisle, I finally saw the back of the head of my 6’2” friend and subject of my interview, Nat Roberts.
Nat, is a military brat, just as I am. The son of a marine, Nat’s preppy look, a white button-up shirt covered by a red, cashmere sweater, might fool some into thinking that he was Republican hailing from some suburb outside of Boston, but he is actually quite liberal, even going so far as to call himself a socialist. Nat emphasized that his K-12 homeschool education—as a result of his parents not wanting him to have to go through the trouble of switching from different public schools with each move— was crucial to his development of his political identity.
“I was able to just think for myself a lot more,” said Nat. “Homeschooling you can’t just sit back and receive information, you have to go out and pursue it. It was an environment with not much judgement and not a lot of free time and those two combined allowed me to explore my opinions. Also spending time with my parents and siblings who are all very politically conscious people, I grew up talking and debating.”
He added, “It makes you into an auto didact,” said Nat. “My mom had four kids how was she going to focus on each one? She was more like checking in with us, making sure we were doing our stuff but also encouraging us to pursue stuff on our own. It taught me to do stuff on my own because nobody else was going to do it.”
The difference in educational environments I think is what differentiates Nat and I from one another in regard to political standings. As a student brought up in the public school system, for a long time what I thought were my own political beliefs were mere reflections of the views of my teachers, mentors, and other guardians. I didn’t feel the need to go out and seek information in order to better form my own beliefs about politics, but rather I just blindly absorbing the information that I was getting from those who surrounded me.
Nat, on the other hand, took advantage of the opportunity to seek out knowledge and explore his own opinions as a result of his homeschool education. Now, having done his own research and reading books such as Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States, Nat stands very firm in his convictions, speaking very purposefully about the upcoming election.
“I think Trump is a fascist,” Nat said. “I think that is the best way to describe his ideology, his tactics, his general motivations. He is after personal power and has no interest in anything else. He is the sort of guy who will wave the flag and shove it up his enemy’s asshole, but when it comes to actually standing by his convictions, standing by veterans, standing by the military, fuck no, he’ll fuck anyone over as soon as it seems to serve his own goals.”
Voicing opinions that many feel about the November election, Nat said that despite some differences of stance on social issues, both he and his parents will be voting similarly when the time comes.
Unlike me, Robert Skipper, a 22-year-old Air Force brat considered himself to be very patriotic through his youth. However, Robert’s attitude about patriotism and politics changed after his transition from living under his parents’ roof to going to university.
“When I was in highschool, I would have told you that I was very patriotic,” said Robert. “I would have told you that we lived in a country that values people and strong, safe ideals and that I was proud to be part of such a nation. Granted, I had also grown up in a somewhat politically and culturally isolated environment. Since going to University and being confronted with a lot of the goings-on of the world that complicates any person’s viewpoint, I have very much changed my mind about patriotism.”
Growing up in the military, there is this direct connection from what happens on the macro level in regards to policies and things of that nature, to your own family. The military provides soldiers and their families with resources by which to life, and these soldiers in return continue their service. However, these resources do not come without a cost.
Very often, men and women in the military with families are forced to concede when it comes to balancing the work life and balance life, typically having decisions come down ultimatums between the lesser of two evils. Some willingly invite this lifestyle, making the conscious and deliberate decision despite knowing that things aren’t always going to work out in your favor when it comes to the military.
It is for this reason that when it comes to the decision between Trump and Clinton, Robert and his parents don’t exactly see eye to eye, attributing his parent’s decision of Trump over Clinton to familiarity in choosing between the lesser of two evils.
“Hillary’s transgressions defy the lifestyle that my parents chose,” said Robert in a Facebook message. “They don’t like Trump, but as my Grandfather (who served 30 years in the Navy, before having to retire) and my parents will say, ‘He’s better than Hillary, because we can’t trust her for what she did.’ They feel that Hillary and Donald are their only two choices, and so they do what they have always done— picked the better of two evils.”
Robert, however, does not feel as limited in his options when it comes to voting for a presidential candidate as his parents do, as shown in his choice to vote Gary Johnson come Nov. 8.
“I know that I have multiple options and I feel the freedom, not dissimilar to the freedom I found I could have once I left my parent’s household, to make my choice.”
Agreeing to disagree, the heated debate about capital punishment between my mother and I ended pretty anticlimactically; I went back to doing homework, she unpaused her episode of the “Colbert Report.” Three years later and I am still against capital punishment, just as she is still for it. The only thing that has really changed is that now I realize that it is okay that my mother and I don’t hold the same political beliefs. As much as I have always idolized my mother, after a few years of living on my own I have realized that I am entitled to opinions that differ from my mother.